Saw this trailer awhile ago and forgot all about it. On Demand now.
Lot of horror movie trailers lately.
Update: Just watched this last night. Except for maybe 3-4 of the letters, (A-Z) this movie sucked. Many of the directors wanted to push the envelope, apparently, which led to some of the weirdest and most offensive short films I've ever seen. Watch this movie if you want to be shocked, not if you want to see something good.
I guess the first movie title was a lie. I have to admit, even though it's pretty easy to guess which movies will get sequels, I didn't see this one coming. The follow-up to The Last Exorcism, which featured one of 2010's best film-character-names, Cotton Marcus, looks to have ditched the "documentary" style of the first film and gone with a more traditional style of filmmaking. This is good, because now I don't have to listen to people tell me it's real. Yes, people believed the first one was "found footage." On a side note, I saw Paranormal Activity in theaters and at the end people were crying. This is the world we live in.
First of all, Hollywood needs to realize that just because they add the sound effects of bones crunching and cracking, it doesn't mean the audience believes they actually are. Generally, I would suspend my disbelief, but not for a nice stretch in bed before you get up in the morning.
Little kids do this shit all the time
Also, the demon's name. Abalam? I understand that demons don't have names like Mike or Dave, but I really find nothing menacing in the name Abalam. In fact, once I learned the demon's name, I was even less interested in seeing this movie than I was originally. There is no need to name the demon that is plaguing your main character, just refer to it as "the demon."
Here's three demon-related movies and their demons' shitty names.
MovieDemon Name
Drag Me to Hell Lamia
Sinister Bagul
The Exorcist Pazuzu
Look how ridiculous those names are. If I was being possessed by a demon and he told me his name was Pazuzu, I'd kick him right the fuck out of my body. The only demons I'm afraid of are bald and starred in The Phantom.
Fuck, he brought up The Phantom
Horror movies are different from every other genre of movie. They need to elicit fear from the viewer in order to be considered successful. The thing is there are so many terrible horror movies that a good one really is a diamond in the rough. Overall, TLE pt. 2 isn't the worst horror movie trailer I've seen, but it doesn't look that great, either. Horror movies are generally about two things for me, which are usually (but not always) separate.
1) Scare Factor- Is it legitimately creepy/scary? Do the death scenes look relatively realistic?
2) Humor Factor- Is it so cheesy and terrible that it's entertaining? Is it self-parodying?
If a horror movie lacks either of those two requirements, it's a bust for me. Thankfully, there looks to be enough creepiness in The Last Exorcism pt. 2 that it may not be a complete waste of time.
Overall, I'd like to say I Won't See It, but I know this shit's getting Redbox'd on some boring Tuesday night.
The second remake I've posted in two days. I'm going to need to see a full-length trailer before I figure out whether or not I want to see this movie, but the teaser looks intriguing. Either way, with the inclusion of Movie 43, viewers will be able to see Chloe Moretz get her period twice this year.
So this trailer's been out for a while now, but this is my blog and I don't care how late I am on a subject. First of all, when news broke about there being an Evil Dead remake, I was pessimistic to say the least. I'd rather cut my hand off than see a shitty Evil Dead. The series has such a large following that I would have to assume no one else was happy about this, either.
Turns out Bruce Campbell is happy about it. And Sam Raimi. And Robert G. Tapert.
^ Actor ^ Director ^ Producer
The movie has the Big Three's blessing, (as well as a producer credit for each) so one would assume that most people would try to have a little faith. Fuck that. This film is guilty until proven innocent. (Like most other movies I write about) Will there be gratuitous amounts of blood? Will I squirm in my seat? Will there be tree-rape?
Tree-rape?
Well, the trailer's got all the bases covered. For those who haven't seen it already, enjoy.
This movie looks like more than I could hope for. Four or five times in the trailer I felt slightly uneasy, so hopefully I will be so disturbed from the things they aren't showing that I either puke or pass out in the theater. Which, by the way, is where I'll be watching. No waiting for DVD, I'm seeing this on the big screen.
You've all seen the trailer for this movie. It's everywhere. I would like to believe that none of you will actually go see the movie, but that's a little optimistic. I am just posting this red band trailer to show how soft of an "R" rating this movie is getting.
There are barely any differences between the red band and the original trailer. Just a scene where a witch gets cut into bloody chunks and one "fuck" out of Renner. Unless they're only showing the shitty parts in both of these trailers, there isn't much convincing me to see it. Two of the movie's producers are Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, so I want to believe that it's supposed to be a comedy, but the lack of anything funny in the trailer leads me to believe otherwise. I think that everyone involved went into it thinking they were going to do something funny or original, but this happened instead.
Sorry, Hawkeye, but I don't think I'm going to be seeing this one.
Won't See It is a blog created by myself, Kyle Holland, where I like to talk shit on various movie trailers and sometimes talk about ones I'm interested in seeing. My posts are of opinion and not to be taken too seriously. Everyone has some shitty movie they love but everyone else hates.
IMDB describes Parker as "a thief with a unique code of professional ethics is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead." Sounds like a completely original film that I'm sure millions of people will see. Sadly, half of that sentence is probably true.
Parker is coming to theaters in about a week or so, which means, as
of right now, it's finished. That, in turn, means director Taylor
Hackford has sat down and watched it from beginning to end without
killing himself or burning the film. There's a reason Hackford is
president of the Director's Guild of America, and I'm sure this film
will showcase his talent.
Non-sarcastically, I am sure
Hackford has talent, but I haven't seen any of his movies (except for
parts of Ray) so I will judge him until I am no longer ignorant.
So... this movie looks like a piece of trash. No one has ever said, "You know who I need for my three big leads? Statham, Lopez, and Chiklis. Get me a phone." Well, maybe the director of Fantastic Four, but he lost out on Statham and Lopez and got stuck with Chris Evans and Jessica Alba. While I'm on the subject, can we start a petition to get Chiklis into his Thing makeup for every role he has in the future?
The first 35 seconds of this trailer look great. And then you realize it's not a comedy. This looks like any other Jason Statham movie where he gets double-crossed and then gets revenge. (The Transporter, The Italian Job, Crank) I'm guessing the plot goes something along these lines:
The Plot
Jason Statham wears a wig and dresses like a priest. Everyone smiles.
Jason Statham takes off wig. Everyone frowns.
Jason Statham is betrayed by Chiklis. He may (but probably doesn't) say "It's Clobberin' Time."
Jason Statham meets J-Lo.
They sex.
Jason Statham kills Chiklis.
J-Lo and J-Stay sex again.
He then decides that he will...
A) Stay with her and love her.
B) Leave her because his lifestyle is too dangerous.
Either way, I'll never know the ending to this film because I...
