IMDB describes Parker as "a thief with a unique code of professional ethics is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead." Sounds like a completely original film that I'm sure millions of people will see. Sadly, half of that sentence is probably true.
Parker is coming to theaters in about a week or so, which means, as
of right now, it's finished. That, in turn, means director Taylor
Hackford has sat down and watched it from beginning to end without
killing himself or burning the film. There's a reason Hackford is
president of the Director's Guild of America, and I'm sure this film
will showcase his talent.
Non-sarcastically, I am sure
Hackford has talent, but I haven't seen any of his movies (except for
parts of Ray) so I will judge him until I am no longer ignorant.
Anyway, here's the trailer:
Trailer - Parker
So... this movie looks like a piece of trash. No one has ever said, "You know who I need for my three big leads? Statham, Lopez, and Chiklis. Get me a phone." Well, maybe the director of Fantastic Four, but he lost out on Statham and Lopez and got stuck with Chris Evans and Jessica Alba. While I'm on the subject, can we start a petition to get Chiklis into his Thing makeup for every role he has in the future?
The first 35 seconds of this trailer look great. And then you realize it's not a comedy. This looks like any other Jason Statham movie where he gets double-crossed and then gets revenge. (The Transporter, The Italian Job, Crank) I'm guessing the plot goes something along these lines:
The Plot
Jason Statham wears a wig and dresses like a priest. Everyone smiles.
Jason Statham takes off wig. Everyone frowns.
Jason Statham is betrayed by Chiklis. He may (but probably doesn't) say "It's Clobberin' Time."
Jason Statham meets J-Lo.
They sex.
Jason Statham kills Chiklis.
J-Lo and J-Stay sex again.
He then decides that he will...
A) Stay with her and love her.
B) Leave her because his lifestyle is too dangerous.
Either way, I'll never know the ending to this film because I...
Won't See It.
Your version of the plot of this movie is funny. However, I'll probably end up going to see the movie because Jason Statham is my boyfriends favorite actor. Sigh. Hopefully it will be good.
ReplyDeleteI'm confident after seeing a few Jason Statham movies that the general plot in all of them do and will have the same pattern of killing, sexing and repeating the process. I guess the surprise in his movies is who did what to make him mad this time. Viewers must be warned before watching a Statham movie--though they'll quickly learn why.
ReplyDelete